Prayers answered: I found a job!

Hallelujah! Yes, it's true. I will be entering the workforce very soon! Hello steady income! Hello benefits!

I will be an online news editor for a growing community news organization. What's even better is that it's a job I truly wanted. It's a job that utilizes my journalism education and experience. And yes, that master's degree in communications actually came in handy!

I had been unemployed for several months...10 months actually, with a few freelance and temporary gigs in between. The truth is, being unemployed can take a huge beating on your ego. When you explain to people that you're "looking for a job," you try not to notice their judgemental glances, they're "so-sorry-for-you" looks. Do they think less of you, is that a smirk? Are they smug because they have a job, a great salary and you? You're just doing nothing.

I hated feeling like a slacker, wallowing in the stagnant state of my professional career. People who really know me, know that I am ambitious. I'm an expert at mapping out goals and making lists. Suffering through 10 months of unemployment was never on any of those lists.

Then the desperation kicks in, you start applying for almost any job that you're qualified for...maybe even some that you're not so qualified to take, but heck...it's a job.

But looking back, I know that my situation wasn't ever too desperate. We were fortunate to have family who helped support us when we had zero income. We were fortunate to receive a sizable amount of monetary gifts from our wedding. I know that many people don't have that kind of support. I prayed often and for some reason, I had a sense of confidence that things would always work out, even if the outset was getting pretty bleak. I'm a firm believer in putting your most difficult trials in the hands of a higher power, in God, and He would help guide you in the right direction.  Had I felt pressured to take any job that was offered to me earlier in my job search, I may have never found the job I was so fortunate to find now.

So now I look forward to starting off where I left off, working my way up in the communications field. I'm grateful for this opportunity and I'm going to make the best of this. So, yes, there is hope. Have faith, keep the positivity, hold on to patience, look to your support network (Friends? Family?), search for and maximize the resources around you, and things will work out as they should.

Amen.

Adventures in the Kitchen #2

 Personal Photo

Banana Pudding
We had a batch of overripe, black patchy bananas. That happens a lot in this household. But I hate waste. And anyone who knows anything about bananas and desserts, bananas are best when they start getting their spots. So I made a some banana pudding. Never in my life have I made it, but I decided to give it a crack, using this recipe. Verdict? Loved it. I love Vanilla wafers and lining them on our pie dish made a wonderful, yummy crust. The consistency was a little thin, so next time I might add more egg yolks. Overall, very good! Not a bad way to salvage food!

Personal Photo

Sun-Dried Tomato Penne Pasta
This was adapted from Giada DeLaurentis' show (who, I'm convinced, can't possibly eat all the high-carb and sugary food she makes), but I added ground beef since a vegetarian dish wouldn't fly in this household. I used a jar of garlic marinated Sun-Dried tomatoes, but I needed more sauce for the amount of people I was cooking for...Forgive me, we're poor, so we I threw in another jar of marinara sauce. In the end, it seemed like another bolognese pasta with penne, but it was still good. The basil adds great color and flavor.

 Personal Photo

Lemon Garlic Baked Tilapia
The in-laws gave us a bunch of Tilapia fillets, so I had to think of an easy and quick way to cook them. I used this recipe, but followed reader reviews and used more butter. I didn't have a whole lot of fresh garlic left so I used garlic powder. I sauteed the butter, garlic powder, pepper, lemon and parsely together before I poured it over the chicken. Luckily Tilapia cooks pretty fast and 15 minutes at 375 degrees was just enough to get it moist and flaky, but cooked. It was yummy and light. To get the most out of the flavor, I would let the fish marinate for as long as possible. When I warmed up leftovers, the fish had soaked in all the flavors overnight and it tasted soooo much better.

Pursuing my "Happyness"



I recently wrapped up, after months of delay, Chris Gardner's inspirational story, "The Pursuit of Happyness."

Yes, I did see the Will Smith flick and, yes, it compelled me to read the novel. I'm glad I did, because reading it gave me more insight on the man who literally made a millions off of nothing (in his case, a negative bank account).

Also, reading the book made me think of my own "happyness" (if you read the novel or see the movie, the misspelling comes from a sign from his son's questionable daycare facility).

More than a year ago, I earned my masters in Communications from CSU Fullerton. I was a managing editor for an Asian American fashion and lifestyle magazine. Life was good. Then my magazine folded due to a lagging economy. After years of a career in journalism and communication, I was without a job. Living at home with the parents. Then I got married, and I was truly happy. But there was a part of me that wasn't quite complete. I felt like my professional career was at a stand still. While I enjoyed making a home for my hubby, and taking on culinary adventures in the kitchen while, previously, I lacked the time to do so, I felt there was more that I had to do.

I decided to volunteer, taking on projects with the Pacific Asia Museum in Pasadena. Being of Asian background, and my husband being both Asian and Pacific Islander, I've always been interested in API arts, culture and issues (one of my fave blogs is Angry Asian Man).

Then, slowly, I realized that I am happy. Even though I need a job, and want a truly satisfying career, it doesn't take away from the things I am truly blessed to have. I'm married to my best friend and soulmate (Cheesy, but true). I have a truly loving family that is continually growing (a niece will be born any day now!). I have friends that have been there for me throughout the years and continue to do so. I'm making new friendships and relationships I truly value. I'm savoring the little moments that I didn't have time to do before in between work and graduate school -- reading, cooking, writing, blogging, watching movies, even things like cuddling and taking afternoon naps with the hubby!

I haven't let being unemployed define me, and I think that has kept me sane, happy and has allowed me to truly enjoy the blessings I do have.

For that, I know I've found my "Happyness."

Post-wedding ramblings: Carving out me in the we.

There is a tendency among couples to withdraw from their social world once they become a "social unit." Days before we tied the knot, a good friend of mine bemoaned, "We have to hang out before you get married! After that, I'll never see you again!" It sounded so absurd to me during my pre-marital days that I vowed never to become part of that hermit couple, the ones who drop off the face of the earth, never to be seen or heard from again. But two months into our marriage, I'm seeing how that can be possible. Wanting to spend every moment with your new spouse, coupled with work, school and fatigue...yeah, I can see how a busy routine can slowly erase any inkling of a social life from your schedule. In the middle of job hunting, merging assets and settling into a new home and routine, I realize I have barely been in contact with most of my friends since getting hitched. It becomes even more difficult living a good 30 minutes from everyone.

But, no, just because we're married, we shouldn't lose aspects of our former single selves, as if everyone and everything from our previous lives are purged from our memories. Instant amnesia. You now must start over. No. That's not what marriage is about. It shouldn't stop us from cultivating relationships outside of our marriage.

Gosh, I've been so MIA, and yes, I attribute it to wedding planning. How bizzare...I never thought I would be that girl, the one who lived, breathed dreamed nearly every moment planning the imminent wedding. Now, it's over, done with. Do I have post wedding blues? In a way, I kind of miss the planning part, doing all the research, working on DIY projects, getting all crafty and  creative and sharing it with all of my fellow brides on my other blog. But, now I've crossed the threshold--literatlly, although the hubs would have died trying to carry me across it--and I love it! I love going from bride to wife. I wouldn't give that up for anything and I'm so relieved that the day finally arrived...geez, after eight years, I wouldn't want to wait another minute! No more waiting...but now what? The hubby and I are working on building and nurturing our new relationship from betrothed couple to married couple.

But is it really different? People tell me all the time, things don't really change when you get married...and well, I'm already seeing the difference.

For instance, the hubs and I merged our assests and set up a joint checking account. We agreed on what expenses we would pay out of the joint account verses our own personal accounts...but I'm still getting used to that...sharing money. I still have the tendency to want to purchase things with my own card and my own money. He and I are still learning that what decisions we make not only affect us, but each other...even more so now that we're married. I suppose I'm still trying to figure out a healthy balance of individuality and independence with marital unity.

What I'm slowly learning is that developing and nurturing your relationships with not only your spouse, but with friends and family is vital to maintaining your own individual identity.You also must be comfortable with who you are, before and during marriage. You need it. You can't contribute to a partnership--a whole--if you aren't whole yourself.

So, now I am on a conscious ongoing mission, to nurture my relationships, with not only my new husband, but with my family and friends. I need to pick up the phone and call the friend I've been putting off talking to. I need to drive over to my parents' place and see how they're doing. I need to spend time with my sister. I need to call my big sis in AZ. Oh, yeah, there's the family dog at my parents' place who is sorely in need of a walk.

I went to mass this past Sunday and I had a Judy Blume moment where I asked, "Are you there, God? It's me, Hazel. Yup, I know we haven't talked in awhile..."

I need to nurture the relationship with myself. finish that book I've been putting off reading. I need to actively pursue my life's goals and ambitions. Hello, new job? Aren't I planning to run a marathon in 6 months???

But there are times when it's ok to let go. There are times where either he or I will need to sacrifice, for each other and we'll both want to. We're not doing this all on our own anymore. And it feels so good to know that.