It's quite sad that my last post was Dec. 15.
Four months into the new year, it seems I haven't had much time for anything else. I read my words and perspectives from just a few months before, and it's humbling. Here's an excerpt from a previous post:
"So, now I am on a conscious ongoing mission, to nurture my relationships, with not only my new husband, but with my family and friends. I need to pick up the phone and call the friend I've been putting off talking to. I need to drive over to my parents' place and see how they're doing. I need to spend time with my sister. I need to call my big sis in AZ. Oh, yeah, there's the family dog at my parents' place who is sorely in need of a walk.
I went to mass this past Sunday and I had a Judy Blume moment where I asked, "Are you there, God? It's me, Hazel. Yup, I know we haven't talked in awhile..."
I need to nurture the relationship with myself. finish that book I've been putting off reading. I need to actively pursue my life's goals and ambitions..."
So how have I done? Well, it's safe to say that I've ventured deeper into that hermit cave that I was so determined to make my way out of. My social balance that I was so sure to keep at a healthy level, has teetered so far into the "work" side.
My family and friends think that I have disappeared. It's not because I've wanted to. Not to blame the job or the career...Ok, I definitely think things could change....but I think it's up to me to figure out what to and how to fix this, because I don't think the calvary is going to save me from this funk.
1) I still enjoy my job. I am still grateful to be a journalist. I'm still figuring this thing out, and I have so much ambition and ideas. Sure, sometimes the frustration of a startup can get to me, but I'm determined not to let it beat me down...even when I've come close... many times. I have goals, and I am going to achieve them. But I am not going to foresake those more important to me -- family, my husband, my friends, my sanity -- to achieve them.
2) I can't let this become my life. I can't let anything consume me. I know my priorities, and although my career is important, it never should get in the way of family, friends, my health, my mind... I just have to learn when to let go. As one colleague said, "I've learned not to care as much, and things got so much better."
So my monthly goals? Before, they were so much more lofty -- like traveling to my next exotic destination, writing my first book. Right now I'm just focused on the simple things (and then hopefully work my up to the lofty stuff).
1) Sleep well
2) Eat well
3) Get down an exercise routine (yep, the marathon training? A casualty of this hectic new job)
4) Read a book (I don't think I've finished a non-work related book since my work web site launched)
5) Visit and communicate with my friends and family more.
6) Go to church regularly
7) Cook at least one new recipe
8) Walk the dog
9) Enjoy life
Not too much to ask, is it?
Is it?
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Sunday, November 14, 2010
All things "Patchy"
I'll be a local news editor for the new hyper-local community news site Patch.com.
Patch-what?
That would be Patch.com, a new start-up venture that began in early 2009 and is determined to take community journalism into the future. It's the quest that's eluded the journalism industry for years- how can the industry build successful business revenue from the web, since that's where the audiences are flocking to anyway. It's always been disconcerting to me that nearly 20 years after the World Wide Web made it's debut, the journalism industry is still resisting Communications' place in the new digital age. It's as if journalists would rather hold on to their increasingly obslete traditional media as the ship continues to sink. But the string quartet has been playing "Nearer my God to Thee" for awhile now...sorry had to throw in that Titanic reference.
We can't keep resisting the change. We have to embrace it. We have to keep looking to the future, not always struggling to catch up. Why? While the journalism industry struggles, people are still consuming information. They're consuming it more than ever...just in different forms than your usual print, radio or television. There's much more of a need. And when there's a demand, we must figure out how to supply it.
That's what Patch is trying to do. Part of AOL corporations, it has what most start up Web journalism sites don't have -- substantial financial backing. They've hired legions of talented journalists -- I'm honored to be included in this bunch -- to produce community-specific news Web sites. Everything that happens in your community, we're there! We have our feet on the street to bring you up-to-the minute news from local government, to sports, to local entertainment.
We recently had our company-wide conference in San Francisco (company flew us out there and shacked us up in the chic Intercontinental Hotel near Union Square). It was great networking, speaking to my colleagues and getting an idea of what to expect in my new position. I even learned new company lingo -- "patchy," meaning something hip and cool...yeah, it may take awhile before that really catches on. Plus it's always nice to have a change of scenery...expecially when it's Frisco, one of my most favorite cities!
Having been a reporter and an editor for both newspaper and magazines for several years, I'm happy to move solidly in the Web field. It's a new venture . . . who knows if Patch will be the first company to get it right, to save professional journalism from extinction, but it's a step in the right direction, and I'm proud to be a part of it.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Babies, Adventures in the Kitchen and Nore-what???
So is this how it goes? I find a job and I ditch blogging altogether? Considering that I haven't blogged in oh, 2 weeks, I'd understand if this little bloggie blog of mine would feel mighty neglected.
Like an unfaithful significant other, I'm pleading forgiveness and vowing more us time. So where to begin? I apologize, but it looks like it's going to be a lazy summary of what's happened in the last couple of weeks. Brutal, but it must be done.
New Addition to the Family
I'm an auntie again! This time it's my sister-in-law who's given birth to her first child--a beautiful little girl. It's a wondrous occasion because it's also the first grandchild for the in-laws. We visited them in the Bay Area and the families were just giddy with excitement for the lil one. Yes, I loved our new little niece the first time I laid eyes on her, but I just have to chuckle...I mean, can there be such thing as being overly proud of your baby? I mean, I can understand the amount of fawning that goes on when a new baby -- especially the first -- is born into a family. "Oh, she isn't she the most gorgeous baby you've ever seen?" "She is sooo much cuter than such-and-such's baby!" "No other baby is cuter than our little girl." Considering that I already have three other nieces -- all of whom were flower girls at our wedding -- I was willing to be more neutral on the "baby wars." . But you know what, it's ok to be overly proud of your new baby, or granchild or niece. She's yours. You love her. You are truly blessed to have her. Savor the moment.
Hello, Work Force!
New job is going well. Since the company is new, and the position is new, navigating through all the details can give you a headache. Literally. I think I must have spent hours trying to get into our programming system...something that I'm sure won't take me more than a few seconds once I get into the routine of things. But I'm excited. I'm working in a field that I fascinated with -- Communications. In this day and age, it's an evolving and dynamic field. I was trained in print journalism, but no one can deny that the entire journalism industry is heading toward the digital world, albeit somewhat delayed by many accounts (ask the legions of unemployed journalists out there). Instead of fighting the future, I believe firmly in embracing it. I'm thrilled of the new opportunities in store. Prayers for guidance into this promising new adventure!
Nore-what?
That would be norebang and that's what we did for my lil sis' birthday bash. Norebang is Korean for song box, and that's what norebangs are really - a private room (some as small as boxes) where you and your friends can sing to Karaoke, without you having to sit through other folks' awful renditions of Summer Lovin. My sister rented a large, comfy room in LA's Koreatown where we sang with ultimate surround sound (uh, make that everyone but me...I don't sing). Makes a perfect night out for the karaoke king and queens out there!
Although, I did take to the mic once in a previous norebang experience. Yup, if you get me drunk enough I'll sing some Genie in the Bottle for ya!
RIP Trick-or-Treating!
Seriously, is trick or treating a thing of the past? Is it going the way of ice cream trucks and the milk man? Not one trick or treater came to our door for Halloween. Sad.
Run, Forest, Run!
I'm behind in my training by a couple weeks, but I'm still running. I'm up to 5 miles and have to tackle 6 miles this week. I've been running at our local park which is a 0.4 mile loop. Just to run 5 miles, I had to make it around 12.5 times. Kind of hard to keep track of my rounds. So I'm in search of a place to run long distances. I may check out Bonelli Park as a possible training site.
What's for Dinner?
I'm still cooking, even with the new job. I enjoy it so why quit what you love? I don't particularly like eating out when I know I have food in the fridge that might go bad soon if I don't whip up something with it. I hate waste. I hate spending a ton of money on eating out. But cooking has been so common that I've kind of slacked off with the food porn photo shoots. What has been on the menu lately?
* Beef Calderetta (a Filipino beef stew) - Delicious, but the flavor might have been a bit too different for the other people in the house. I used Mama Sita's Spicy Calderetta mix. Great time saver, although I don't think it's that spicy
* Pumpkin pie - I was in the mood for some pumpkin pie on Halloween. But I cheated and used the super-duper easy recipe behind the can of my ready-made pie mix. Just add Carnation evaporated milk, eggs and pie mix into the ready-made store bought pie shell and you're good to go. Nothing spectacular in terms of culinary feats, but it was oh-so-good. Kinda bummed someone else beat me to the last piece in the fridge!
* Chicken Katsu, mac salad and rice- sounds like an odd combo, but if you've been to Hawaii and eaten a plate lunch, it's a perfect threesome. We're missing Hawaii (Kauai was our honeymoon spot), the waves, the island breeze. So I decided to whip up something my hubby adores. The Mac salad was pretty easy, although I had to make some modifications to the recipe. Yummy and on the sweet side. The chicken katsu was kind of time consuming, especially when you're cooking a huge portion. But the end result was worth it!
* Pasta with Prawns in Creamy Garlic Sauce - A tasty dish for any lover of the stinking rose. Just be sure not to overcook the shrimp. My mistake as they were a bit tough.
* Chicken Adobo - a Filipino staple and favorite. I grew up with this stuff. In fact I know it by heart. While it's so easy to make and requires just a few ingredients (seriously just soy sauce, vinegar, bay leaf and chicken), the flavor is really intense, but delicious.
* Baked Mac and Cheese - I think I needed more cheese for the portion I was making, but the roux was so yummy. Bay leaf was something new to most mac and cheese recipes I've done, but it was a great addition!
* Egg salad sandwich - What's so great about egg salad? Well, if you add a little onion, a little celery and a dash of curry powder, you have one tasty sandwhich!
* Hu Tieu/Banh Pho Don Xao Bo (Vietnamese Crispy Rice Noodle Beef Stir-Fry)
* Chicken Curry Fried Rice - What I always do with leftover rice is fry it. But I'm always looking for new ways to fry rice besides the same old garlic and soy sauce combo. Since I had been on a curry powder kick lately, I decided to try this recipe. I eased up on the curry powder portion. Glad I did because it would have been way too overwhelming. The dish turned out well, the curry being intense but flavorful.
* Sweet and Sour Chicken - I didn't have enough ketchup that this recipe called for so my sauce was a bit thin. But I did marinate the chicken in a little soy sauce and rice wine to give it a little more flavor. I loved the bell peppers and the sweetness of the sauce, although I think I'd cut back on the pineapple in the future. It was a bit too tart for me.
I'm sure there were more dishes, but I'm probably boring you...Oh an my father-in-law brought us a box of potatoes. Hmmm....potato dishes, coming right up!
Like an unfaithful significant other, I'm pleading forgiveness and vowing more us time. So where to begin? I apologize, but it looks like it's going to be a lazy summary of what's happened in the last couple of weeks. Brutal, but it must be done.
New Addition to the Family
I'm an auntie again! This time it's my sister-in-law who's given birth to her first child--a beautiful little girl. It's a wondrous occasion because it's also the first grandchild for the in-laws. We visited them in the Bay Area and the families were just giddy with excitement for the lil one. Yes, I loved our new little niece the first time I laid eyes on her, but I just have to chuckle...I mean, can there be such thing as being overly proud of your baby? I mean, I can understand the amount of fawning that goes on when a new baby -- especially the first -- is born into a family. "Oh, she isn't she the most gorgeous baby you've ever seen?" "She is sooo much cuter than such-and-such's baby!" "No other baby is cuter than our little girl." Considering that I already have three other nieces -- all of whom were flower girls at our wedding -- I was willing to be more neutral on the "baby wars." . But you know what, it's ok to be overly proud of your new baby, or granchild or niece. She's yours. You love her. You are truly blessed to have her. Savor the moment.
Hello, Work Force!
New job is going well. Since the company is new, and the position is new, navigating through all the details can give you a headache. Literally. I think I must have spent hours trying to get into our programming system...something that I'm sure won't take me more than a few seconds once I get into the routine of things. But I'm excited. I'm working in a field that I fascinated with -- Communications. In this day and age, it's an evolving and dynamic field. I was trained in print journalism, but no one can deny that the entire journalism industry is heading toward the digital world, albeit somewhat delayed by many accounts (ask the legions of unemployed journalists out there). Instead of fighting the future, I believe firmly in embracing it. I'm thrilled of the new opportunities in store. Prayers for guidance into this promising new adventure!
Nore-what?
That would be norebang and that's what we did for my lil sis' birthday bash. Norebang is Korean for song box, and that's what norebangs are really - a private room (some as small as boxes) where you and your friends can sing to Karaoke, without you having to sit through other folks' awful renditions of Summer Lovin. My sister rented a large, comfy room in LA's Koreatown where we sang with ultimate surround sound (uh, make that everyone but me...I don't sing). Makes a perfect night out for the karaoke king and queens out there!
Although, I did take to the mic once in a previous norebang experience. Yup, if you get me drunk enough I'll sing some Genie in the Bottle for ya!
Lil Sis, the Rockstar
My lil sis in a band called the Lodevico Technique, a combination of our last name and a Clockwork Orange reference. A little ironic cuz their debut performance was at my sister's church's annual fair and A Clockwork Orange isn't quite church-inspired material, but oh well. She and her band rocked it out despite the rain.
My lil sis in a band called the Lodevico Technique, a combination of our last name and a Clockwork Orange reference. A little ironic cuz their debut performance was at my sister's church's annual fair and A Clockwork Orange isn't quite church-inspired material, but oh well. She and her band rocked it out despite the rain.
You know what else I loved? Pupusas....mmmmm. They look like pancakes but they're stuffed with meat and cheese. El Salvador might be a tiny country but they sure know how to make their grub.
RIP Trick-or-Treating!
Seriously, is trick or treating a thing of the past? Is it going the way of ice cream trucks and the milk man? Not one trick or treater came to our door for Halloween. Sad.
Run, Forest, Run!
I'm behind in my training by a couple weeks, but I'm still running. I'm up to 5 miles and have to tackle 6 miles this week. I've been running at our local park which is a 0.4 mile loop. Just to run 5 miles, I had to make it around 12.5 times. Kind of hard to keep track of my rounds. So I'm in search of a place to run long distances. I may check out Bonelli Park as a possible training site.
What's for Dinner?
I'm still cooking, even with the new job. I enjoy it so why quit what you love? I don't particularly like eating out when I know I have food in the fridge that might go bad soon if I don't whip up something with it. I hate waste. I hate spending a ton of money on eating out. But cooking has been so common that I've kind of slacked off with the food porn photo shoots. What has been on the menu lately?
* Beef Calderetta (a Filipino beef stew) - Delicious, but the flavor might have been a bit too different for the other people in the house. I used Mama Sita's Spicy Calderetta mix. Great time saver, although I don't think it's that spicy
* Pumpkin pie - I was in the mood for some pumpkin pie on Halloween. But I cheated and used the super-duper easy recipe behind the can of my ready-made pie mix. Just add Carnation evaporated milk, eggs and pie mix into the ready-made store bought pie shell and you're good to go. Nothing spectacular in terms of culinary feats, but it was oh-so-good. Kinda bummed someone else beat me to the last piece in the fridge!
* Pasta with Prawns in Creamy Garlic Sauce - A tasty dish for any lover of the stinking rose. Just be sure not to overcook the shrimp. My mistake as they were a bit tough.
* Baked Mac and Cheese - I think I needed more cheese for the portion I was making, but the roux was so yummy. Bay leaf was something new to most mac and cheese recipes I've done, but it was a great addition!
* Hu Tieu/Banh Pho Don Xao Bo (Vietnamese Crispy Rice Noodle Beef Stir-Fry)
* Chicken Curry Fried Rice - What I always do with leftover rice is fry it. But I'm always looking for new ways to fry rice besides the same old garlic and soy sauce combo. Since I had been on a curry powder kick lately, I decided to try this recipe. I eased up on the curry powder portion. Glad I did because it would have been way too overwhelming. The dish turned out well, the curry being intense but flavorful.
* Sweet and Sour Chicken - I didn't have enough ketchup that this recipe called for so my sauce was a bit thin. But I did marinate the chicken in a little soy sauce and rice wine to give it a little more flavor. I loved the bell peppers and the sweetness of the sauce, although I think I'd cut back on the pineapple in the future. It was a bit too tart for me.
I'm sure there were more dishes, but I'm probably boring you...Oh an my father-in-law brought us a box of potatoes. Hmmm....potato dishes, coming right up!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Prayers answered: I found a job!
Hallelujah! Yes, it's true. I will be entering the workforce very soon! Hello steady income! Hello benefits!
I will be an online news editor for a growing community news organization. What's even better is that it's a job I truly wanted. It's a job that utilizes my journalism education and experience. And yes, that master's degree in communications actually came in handy!
I had been unemployed for several months...10 months actually, with a few freelance and temporary gigs in between. The truth is, being unemployed can take a huge beating on your ego. When you explain to people that you're "looking for a job," you try not to notice their judgemental glances, they're "so-sorry-for-you" looks. Do they think less of you, is that a smirk? Are they smug because they have a job, a great salary and you? You're just doing nothing.
I hated feeling like a slacker, wallowing in the stagnant state of my professional career. People who really know me, know that I am ambitious. I'm an expert at mapping out goals and making lists. Suffering through 10 months of unemployment was never on any of those lists.
Then the desperation kicks in, you start applying for almost any job that you're qualified for...maybe even some that you're not so qualified to take, but heck...it's a job.
But looking back, I know that my situation wasn't ever too desperate. We were fortunate to have family who helped support us when we had zero income. We were fortunate to receive a sizable amount of monetary gifts from our wedding. I know that many people don't have that kind of support. I prayed often and for some reason, I had a sense of confidence that things would always work out, even if the outset was getting pretty bleak. I'm a firm believer in putting your most difficult trials in the hands of a higher power, in God, and He would help guide you in the right direction. Had I felt pressured to take any job that was offered to me earlier in my job search, I may have never found the job I was so fortunate to find now.
So now I look forward to starting off where I left off, working my way up in the communications field. I'm grateful for this opportunity and I'm going to make the best of this. So, yes, there is hope. Have faith, keep the positivity, hold on to patience, look to your support network (Friends? Family?), search for and maximize the resources around you, and things will work out as they should.
Amen.
I will be an online news editor for a growing community news organization. What's even better is that it's a job I truly wanted. It's a job that utilizes my journalism education and experience. And yes, that master's degree in communications actually came in handy!
I had been unemployed for several months...10 months actually, with a few freelance and temporary gigs in between. The truth is, being unemployed can take a huge beating on your ego. When you explain to people that you're "looking for a job," you try not to notice their judgemental glances, they're "so-sorry-for-you" looks. Do they think less of you, is that a smirk? Are they smug because they have a job, a great salary and you? You're just doing nothing.
I hated feeling like a slacker, wallowing in the stagnant state of my professional career. People who really know me, know that I am ambitious. I'm an expert at mapping out goals and making lists. Suffering through 10 months of unemployment was never on any of those lists.
Then the desperation kicks in, you start applying for almost any job that you're qualified for...maybe even some that you're not so qualified to take, but heck...it's a job.
But looking back, I know that my situation wasn't ever too desperate. We were fortunate to have family who helped support us when we had zero income. We were fortunate to receive a sizable amount of monetary gifts from our wedding. I know that many people don't have that kind of support. I prayed often and for some reason, I had a sense of confidence that things would always work out, even if the outset was getting pretty bleak. I'm a firm believer in putting your most difficult trials in the hands of a higher power, in God, and He would help guide you in the right direction. Had I felt pressured to take any job that was offered to me earlier in my job search, I may have never found the job I was so fortunate to find now.
So now I look forward to starting off where I left off, working my way up in the communications field. I'm grateful for this opportunity and I'm going to make the best of this. So, yes, there is hope. Have faith, keep the positivity, hold on to patience, look to your support network (Friends? Family?), search for and maximize the resources around you, and things will work out as they should.
Amen.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Adventures in the Kitchen #2
Personal Photo
Banana PuddingWe had a batch of overripe, black patchy bananas. That happens a lot in this household. But I hate waste. And anyone who knows anything about bananas and desserts, bananas are best when they start getting their spots. So I made a some banana pudding. Never in my life have I made it, but I decided to give it a crack, using this recipe. Verdict? Loved it. I love Vanilla wafers and lining them on our pie dish made a wonderful, yummy crust. The consistency was a little thin, so next time I might add more egg yolks. Overall, very good! Not a bad way to salvage food!
Personal Photo
Sun-Dried Tomato Penne Pasta
This was adapted from Giada DeLaurentis' show (who, I'm convinced, can't possibly eat all the high-carb and sugary food she makes), but I added ground beef since a vegetarian dish wouldn't fly in this household. I used a jar of garlic marinated Sun-Dried tomatoes, but I needed more sauce for the amount of people I was cooking for...Forgive me, we're poor, so we I threw in another jar of marinara sauce. In the end, it seemed like another bolognese pasta with penne, but it was still good. The basil adds great color and flavor.
Personal Photo
Lemon Garlic Baked Tilapia
The in-laws gave us a bunch of Tilapia fillets, so I had to think of an easy and quick way to cook them. I used this recipe, but followed reader reviews and used more butter. I didn't have a whole lot of fresh garlic left so I used garlic powder. I sauteed the butter, garlic powder, pepper, lemon and parsely together before I poured it over the chicken. Luckily Tilapia cooks pretty fast and 15 minutes at 375 degrees was just enough to get it moist and flaky, but cooked. It was yummy and light. To get the most out of the flavor, I would let the fish marinate for as long as possible. When I warmed up leftovers, the fish had soaked in all the flavors overnight and it tasted soooo much better.
Pursuing my "Happyness"
I recently wrapped up, after months of delay, Chris Gardner's inspirational story, "The Pursuit of Happyness." Yes, I did see the Will Smith flick and, yes, it compelled me to read the novel. I'm glad I did, because reading it gave me more insight on the man who literally made a millions off of nothing (in his case, a negative bank account).
Also, reading the book made me think of my own "happyness" (if you read the novel or see the movie, the misspelling comes from a sign from his son's questionable daycare facility).
More than a year ago, I earned my masters in Communications from CSU Fullerton. I was a managing editor for an Asian American fashion and lifestyle magazine. Life was good. Then my magazine folded due to a lagging economy. After years of a career in journalism and communication, I was without a job. Living at home with the parents. Then I got married, and I was truly happy. But there was a part of me that wasn't quite complete. I felt like my professional career was at a stand still. While I enjoyed making a home for my hubby, and taking on culinary adventures in the kitchen while, previously, I lacked the time to do so, I felt there was more that I had to do.
I decided to volunteer, taking on projects with the Pacific Asia Museum in Pasadena. Being of Asian background, and my husband being both Asian and Pacific Islander, I've always been interested in API arts, culture and issues (one of my fave blogs is Angry Asian Man).
Then, slowly, I realized that I am happy. Even though I need a job, and want a truly satisfying career, it doesn't take away from the things I am truly blessed to have. I'm married to my best friend and soulmate (Cheesy, but true). I have a truly loving family that is continually growing (a niece will be born any day now!). I have friends that have been there for me throughout the years and continue to do so. I'm making new friendships and relationships I truly value. I'm savoring the little moments that I didn't have time to do before in between work and graduate school -- reading, cooking, writing, blogging, watching movies, even things like cuddling and taking afternoon naps with the hubby!
I haven't let being unemployed define me, and I think that has kept me sane, happy and has allowed me to truly enjoy the blessings I do have.
For that, I know I've found my "Happyness."
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Post-wedding ramblings: Carving out me in the we.
There is a tendency among couples to withdraw from their social world once they become a "social unit." Days before we tied the knot, a good friend of mine bemoaned, "We have to hang out before you get married! After that, I'll never see you again!" It sounded so absurd to me during my pre-marital days that I vowed never to become part of that hermit couple, the ones who drop off the face of the earth, never to be seen or heard from again. But two months into our marriage, I'm seeing how that can be possible. Wanting to spend every moment with your new spouse, coupled with work, school and fatigue...yeah, I can see how a busy routine can slowly erase any inkling of a social life from your schedule. In the middle of job hunting, merging assets and settling into a new home and routine, I realize I have barely been in contact with most of my friends since getting hitched. It becomes even more difficult living a good 30 minutes from everyone.
But, no, just because we're married, we shouldn't lose aspects of our former single selves, as if everyone and everything from our previous lives are purged from our memories. Instant amnesia. You now must start over. No. That's not what marriage is about. It shouldn't stop us from cultivating relationships outside of our marriage.
Gosh, I've been so MIA, and yes, I attribute it to wedding planning. How bizzare...I never thought I would be that girl, the one who lived, breathed dreamed nearly every moment planning the imminent wedding. Now, it's over, done with. Do I have post wedding blues? In a way, I kind of miss the planning part, doing all the research, working on DIY projects, getting all crafty and creative and sharing it with all of my fellow brides on my other blog. But, now I've crossed the threshold--literatlly, although the hubs would have died trying to carry me across it--and I love it! I love going from bride to wife. I wouldn't give that up for anything and I'm so relieved that the day finally arrived...geez, after eight years, I wouldn't want to wait another minute! No more waiting...but now what? The hubby and I are working on building and nurturing our new relationship from betrothed couple to married couple.
But is it really different? People tell me all the time, things don't really change when you get married...and well, I'm already seeing the difference.
For instance, the hubs and I merged our assests and set up a joint checking account. We agreed on what expenses we would pay out of the joint account verses our own personal accounts...but I'm still getting used to that...sharing money. I still have the tendency to want to purchase things with my own card and my own money. He and I are still learning that what decisions we make not only affect us, but each other...even more so now that we're married. I suppose I'm still trying to figure out a healthy balance of individuality and independence with marital unity.
What I'm slowly learning is that developing and nurturing your relationships with not only your spouse, but with friends and family is vital to maintaining your own individual identity.You also must be comfortable with who you are, before and during marriage. You need it. You can't contribute to a partnership--a whole--if you aren't whole yourself.
So, now I am on a conscious ongoing mission, to nurture my relationships, with not only my new husband, but with my family and friends. I need to pick up the phone and call the friend I've been putting off talking to. I need to drive over to my parents' place and see how they're doing. I need to spend time with my sister. I need to call my big sis in AZ. Oh, yeah, there's the family dog at my parents' place who is sorely in need of a walk.
I went to mass this past Sunday and I had a Judy Blume moment where I asked, "Are you there, God? It's me, Hazel. Yup, I know we haven't talked in awhile..."
I need to nurture the relationship with myself. finish that book I've been putting off reading. I need to actively pursue my life's goals and ambitions. Hello, new job? Aren't I planning to run a marathon in 6 months???
But there are times when it's ok to let go. There are times where either he or I will need to sacrifice, for each other and we'll both want to. We're not doing this all on our own anymore. And it feels so good to know that.
But, no, just because we're married, we shouldn't lose aspects of our former single selves, as if everyone and everything from our previous lives are purged from our memories. Instant amnesia. You now must start over. No. That's not what marriage is about. It shouldn't stop us from cultivating relationships outside of our marriage.
Gosh, I've been so MIA, and yes, I attribute it to wedding planning. How bizzare...I never thought I would be that girl, the one who lived, breathed dreamed nearly every moment planning the imminent wedding. Now, it's over, done with. Do I have post wedding blues? In a way, I kind of miss the planning part, doing all the research, working on DIY projects, getting all crafty and creative and sharing it with all of my fellow brides on my other blog. But, now I've crossed the threshold--literatlly, although the hubs would have died trying to carry me across it--and I love it! I love going from bride to wife. I wouldn't give that up for anything and I'm so relieved that the day finally arrived...geez, after eight years, I wouldn't want to wait another minute! No more waiting...but now what? The hubby and I are working on building and nurturing our new relationship from betrothed couple to married couple.
But is it really different? People tell me all the time, things don't really change when you get married...and well, I'm already seeing the difference.
For instance, the hubs and I merged our assests and set up a joint checking account. We agreed on what expenses we would pay out of the joint account verses our own personal accounts...but I'm still getting used to that...sharing money. I still have the tendency to want to purchase things with my own card and my own money. He and I are still learning that what decisions we make not only affect us, but each other...even more so now that we're married. I suppose I'm still trying to figure out a healthy balance of individuality and independence with marital unity.
What I'm slowly learning is that developing and nurturing your relationships with not only your spouse, but with friends and family is vital to maintaining your own individual identity.You also must be comfortable with who you are, before and during marriage. You need it. You can't contribute to a partnership--a whole--if you aren't whole yourself.
So, now I am on a conscious ongoing mission, to nurture my relationships, with not only my new husband, but with my family and friends. I need to pick up the phone and call the friend I've been putting off talking to. I need to drive over to my parents' place and see how they're doing. I need to spend time with my sister. I need to call my big sis in AZ. Oh, yeah, there's the family dog at my parents' place who is sorely in need of a walk.
I went to mass this past Sunday and I had a Judy Blume moment where I asked, "Are you there, God? It's me, Hazel. Yup, I know we haven't talked in awhile..."
I need to nurture the relationship with myself. finish that book I've been putting off reading. I need to actively pursue my life's goals and ambitions. Hello, new job? Aren't I planning to run a marathon in 6 months???
But there are times when it's ok to let go. There are times where either he or I will need to sacrifice, for each other and we'll both want to. We're not doing this all on our own anymore. And it feels so good to know that.
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